Mumbai 04 August 2016:
What is love?
Love is expressed as an action and experienced as a feeling. So what is this love? The ancient Greeks called love “the madness of the gods.” Psychologists say that love is the strong desire for emotional union with another person. According to me Love is about sharing each other’s feelings and letting each other know how much you really care.
How to love?
Love is a limitless emotion which can be expressed. There is no single way to show love. There are various ways that you can show someone that you love them. Before you show love to others it's very important for you to love yourself first.
How to love yourself?
Appreciate yourself :
To love yourself means accepting and appreciating yourself from within. You have many unique qualities. Learn to appreciate these qualities you possess. If you are unable to accept and love yourself it will be very difficult for you to appreciate, accept and love others. If you are not able to accept yourself your self confidence drops. So work on your self confidence and it will help you to appreciate yourself and love yourself. If it's your past which is stopping you from accepting yourself then get over your past and move ahead.
Care for yourself :
Never make yourself your last priority. Only when you care for yourself will you be able to care more for others. Caring for yourself will make you happy. Do something special for yourself every single day, and see how happy you feel. This can be as simple as relaxing and taking a day of from your chores.
Be grateful :
Be grateful for who you are, the unique qualities you possess, for the people around and for everything that's good in your life. Find ways to be grateful everyday, because being grateful makes you more happier from the inside.
Keep a good attitude :
Keeping a positive attitude is connected with multiple benefits, such as lesser stress and having a longer lifespan. So try keeping a positive attitude even when the situation seems to be negative by finding something positive in it be it small or big. Whenever you have negative thoughts for eg when you have to face a new challenge thoughts like " I don't think I will be able to do it " fight such thoughts by using positive self-talk to turn negative thoughts into positive thoughts like " I feel proud of myself for trying something new and putting myself out there ". Such positive thoughts will improve your self confidence.
Do things that make you happy :
Doing things that make you feel happy plays a big part in loving yourself. Always do things that make your body, mind, emotions, and spirit feel good. You choose to do anything you like which will make you feel happy like play sports, meditate, practice yoga, paint or draw, kayak, hiking, cooking or simply shopping. Do whatever that brings a smile to your face.
Take some alone time :
It's very important that you remove some alone time for yourself in a day. It becomes difficult if you share a room or have children. Taking some alone time helps you unwind, work through problems, reset your mind, and discover yourself. Spending time alone helps you improve your relationships by prioritizing your happiness and allowing yourself to reset your mind. You can spend your alone time by taking a walk in the park, meditating or just relaxing.
Accept that you don’t need a partner to feel complete :
To have a happy life you dont always need a partner. Some people feel its better to be in a bad relationship than being single. Staying in a relationship that does not work does not respect you or your partner will only keep you more stressed and unhappy. Living a singles life does not mean being lonely, and it is not worth falling to social pressure to fit in or feel complete.
Loving your partner
Make a commitment :
To make a good relationship work both partners need to be committed to the relationship. You need to communicate openly what are your goals for the relationship. If you only want to have a short term relationship be honest about it to your partner. If you're looking for a longterm relationship let your partner know about it, so that you both can make efforts towards it. To make a relationship last stay committed to the relationship and the person, work towards making it a happy relationship.
Be Intimate :
Most of us associate intimacy with sex, but being emotionally intimate plays a huge role in making a loving relationship. So what is emotional intimacy? Its nothing but allowing yourself to feel and express vulnerability around your partner. Feelings or emotions that usually feel unsafe feel safer in an intimate relationship because of the vulnerability and trust that has been developed between the two partners.
Accept that Love is dynamic :
If you start feeling that your feeling of love is fading away, remember love can occur in waves. Here and there you feel overwhelmingly infatuated with somebody, and different times you encounter less love to or from that individual. Because you hit a low point doesn't imply that the sentiments will keep going forever. Life happens in cycles and it's alright that affection encounters highs and lows. Heaps of things can make peaks and troughs in love, for example, having kids or becoming older. You should find a way through them.
Be open to receiving love :
You don't always have to be the one to love your partner in your relationship, let your partner also express her love for you. But it can be difficult for some people as they like to have control and this situation you're not the one controlling but you are receiving. In a relationship be open to receiving gifts, accepting compliments, and warm gestures toward you. You may feel like you now owe something back, yet let that go and appreciate the experience of accepting. Love does not have obligations.
Touch your partner :
Touching each other in a relationship does not always need to be sexual. It can be like a simple hug or holding hands in a way to stay connected. Express your Love for your partner by starting and supporting physical contact. Love is one approach to express care, gratefulness, and other associating, positive feelings. Physical Affection is a way to make your partner feel loved and for you to feel loving.
Express gratitude to your partner :
Sometimes when we communicate our words may be misunderstood by our partner, but gratitude is always understood. Confirm your appreciation of your partner by showing gratitude.. Thank your partner to demonstrate that you see the efforts put into the relationship. Show thankfulness for the things your partner does, furthermore for the qualities that your adored one has.
Be partners in life :
The general purpose of experiencing life with people you love and cherish is so you can handle life's difficulties together. Cooperate to discover answers to problems, take care of issues, and solace each other when challenges over power you. We can't face everything all alone, we can't know everything there is to know... in any case, an entire cluster of people getting together out of affection can take care of pretty much any issue.
Loving despite of differences :
Don’t expect your partner to be perfect :
Don’t expect your partner to be perfect neither should your partner expect perfection from you. Avoid having unrealistic expectations, because it will only disappoint you and hurt your relationship. Relax on yourself and your partner, and know that mistakes will happen.
Learn from your mistakes :
Sometimes bad things will happen in your relationship. You'll say the wrong thing, or your partner will offend you. It happens. The critical part, when anything turns out badly, is to take in your lessons and continue advancing. Attempt to benefit as much as possible from any negative circumstance, transforming it into something positive by picking up and developing from the experience. Sincerely attempt to see your loved one's perspective in any contention that gets genuinely genuine.
Make place for differences :
Accommodate your disparities. It's difficult to feel love toward somebody when you're truly frantic or angry with your partner. Whether you and your loved one get to be unpredictable or maintain a strategic distance from fights, there's quite measured differences in couples happiness. The vital part is discovering happiness together after the battle.
Know that there's dependably the open door for compromise. Whether you have unstable shouting matches or you take a seat together to trade off before things get excessively hard to handle, verging on each style of contention considers some type of compromise. Regardless of how you and your partner fight, ensure you are, at last, both feeling heard and ready to go to some sort of agreement.
Balance your negative and positive emotions :
Having a balance of emotion is important in making a glad and adoring relationship. Research demonstrates that in connection to dependability after some time, the perfect proportion for positive and negative interaction seeing someone is five to one, or five positive collaborations for each one negative association. When you perceive a negative activity toward your partner, do your best to give positive connections to reestablish a feeling of balance.